The end of radiation is near and I will be so relieved when I’m finished! As I’ve said before, compared to chemo, radiation is nothing to complain about but it has been much harder than I thought it would be. Taking care of myself and balancing the demands of work and the needs of my family have taken a toll. The physical effects are cumulative – mind-numbing fatigue and the evidence of radiation on my skin are more noticeable (and shocking! Holy crap – what are they DOING to me?!) every day. Sometimes I have felt as if my body has betrayed me – my mind is searching for the silver lining but my body is spent! My doctor warned me that the last week of “boost treatments” would be harder on my body than previous weeks. The first day of treatment was a surprise – I thought he said BOOZE treatments and was looking forward to a crisp glass of chardonnay or an umbrella drink in the waiting room (ha ha)! Day two was a bigger surprise – in spite of the boozeless treatment I FELT like I had a hangover and didn’t even have any funny stories to tell or pictures to share! Needless to say, many other people have been picking up my slack and I am grateful to the awesome women I work with and for who have my back – encourage me, make me laugh and send me home to bed when I’m so tired I’m in tears. I am blessed to have friends and family who know when I need a hug, a meal, or a word/text of encouragement to keep me going. And I couldn’t have faced any of this without my husband and my sweet and understanding kids. We have all grown in unexpected ways from this experience.
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” – Proverbs 13:12
I left the hospital yesterday and arrived home feeling overwhelmed. To my amazement, I had a message from my new friends (and jungle family!) at Selvatica Adventure Kingdom in Mexico. They have been taking care of and watching closely the seed I planted on Christmas Eve. In spite of the challenges we have faced the past few months, HOPE is growing – both literally and figuratively. God is good.